Nightmare Neighbours…

It would seem that I am quite literally living in a never ending nightmare.

I live in a flat. A council flat no less. It’s a crappy little 3 bedroom place, where the 2nd and 3rd bedrooms are hardly fit to be called as such. Each room has enough room for the beds and very little else.

The biggest problem I have though, and I have had this very same problem for all of the years I have been living here, and that’s 7 years in total now, is the noise that comes from downstairs, and more recently from next door too. It is hell.

The first lot of neighbours used to blast music out, and while I’m partial to a bit of loud music now and then, this wasn’t now and then, it was virtually all day every day.

The next lot of neighbours, while not big music fans, they had a nasty habit of slamming doors behind them wherever they went in their flat. Not just one of them, all of them would do it, and it seemed like there was always someone awake at every point of the day. The next lot were just obnoxiously loud in everything. They didn’t talk, they shouted, they had a dog locked in the hallway, and a dog locked in the shoe box sized kitchen, who would just howl and bark all day when alone, and would bark a lot even when the neighbours were in. Mostly, I would assume, from being trapped in one very small space constantly.

And my most recent nightmare neighbours are taxi drivers, who argue a lot. So I’m frequently party to I lot of shouting where the use of the ‘f’ word is so regular, I’m surprised I’m not yelling it in what little sleep I get. When coming in from taxi jobs, even late at night, there’s no consideration when it comes to slamming doors, or other drivers being loud outside the property, and they have 4 or 5 cars outside at any one time. Not to mention the drifting smell of cannabis that invades my property from downstairs. Now, I have dabbled with weed as a teenager, as a lot of kids do, and even a little (believe it or not, under the instruction of a Doctor) but I haven’t touched the stuff in over 10 years, and if I wanted to, I would. I don’t need the stench of it flowing through my home!

Now when I get my yearly gas service, if they ask me if I’m the one smoking it, I will not be shy about pointing them in the right direction that’s for sure. I am already at risk of losing my home, without someone else threatening it unnecessarily.

Something inside is telling me that it is time to start making diaries of all the noise again, which will help if I pass it on to the council, but the issue I then have, is that if they were to go, there would be essentially the same issue with the next lot of tenants, and the ones after that, and so on.

It is not solely down to the inconsiderate neighbours, and I use that term simply because they are aware of this main problem, and that is that these properties were never adequately soundproofed. This has been admitted directly to me by a member of staff in the relevant department, but the comment that followed was that basically although they know they are not adequately soundproofed, they weren’t willing to do anything about it either. What can you do when that’s the response from the only people who can do anything about the problem?

What I need is to somehow obtain just enough money to buy the property and soundproof it myself. Problem solved! Now to work on the small lottery win I’ll need to make it happen…

H x

In Need Of A Miracle…

So things are pretty shit right now. So much so that even hubby is avoiding me! He would never admit that he is avoiding me, but I know that he is, and I cannot say that I blame him, however two days in a row where there is no contact from lunch time until very late at night when you’re usually in contact pretty much all day every day, would indicate to me some level of avoidance. Again, I cannot say that I blame him.

Right now I’m at the point of giving up. I’m balancing on a very unstable ledge, and this time I might not be able to save myself. I’m on the verge of losing it all. Quite literally, everything. But the terrible thing is that there is no one out there who is going to help. No one to lend a hand, throw me a lifeline, or even just to listen right now. My only way to vent and try and make sense of it all in my head is to write it down here. It will take, quite literally, a miracle to get me out of this, and I am rapidly running out of time.

My depression has taken over, and the crisis team that should have been in touch a couple of weeks ago, has been nowhere to be seen. I am so far behind in my rent, I’m expecting a notice to seek possession letter to come through any day. I have already had a letter threatening court action over my council tax. I am severely behind in my gas and electricity payments and I haven’t been able to pay a water bill in what seems like forever. If that notice for to seek possession letter comes through, I will lose the roof over my head, and will quite literally be living on the streets. There is no help to seek for this, there is nothing anyone can do. No amount of budgeting will solve this problem, because there simply isn’t enough income to budget with. I am lost, with nowhere to turn.

I have self harmed today, and I still feel the need to do it again to resist the urge to go any further, but quite honestly, I just want to sleep and never wake up. I don’t know what else to do. This is all just the tip of the iceberg, and there is nothing more I can say about any of it.

H x